vs.      

Courtesy from a friend 'o' mine...

Men complain that women treat nice guys with contempt.

Something doesn't add up here, wouldn't you agree?

Here are some popular theories for these dueling perceptions:

• the complaining "nice guys" don't understand the difference between "being nice" and "being a human doormat"

• women say they want one thing (i.e., to be treated nicely), but they want something else (i.e., to be treated badly)

• men just think that they're being nice to women, but in reality, they're still being self-serving bastards (SSBs)

• the complaining women are spoiled princesses who expect unrealistic things from men and from love

Meanwhile, men are proclaiming right-and-left that it doesn't pay to be nice (e.g., kind, considerate, goodhearted, etc.) to women. What does pay, however, is being an SSB.

Put another way, as the theory goes, a man who consistently does things his way - putting his own wants and needs first - will attract women like crazy.

I wholeheartedly agree. A man who does all that bad boy stuff can attract women like crazy, provided, of course, that he's got something else to offer in the sex appeal department.

The problem is that the women he attracts and is able to hold on to are likely to be one of the following:

• as convinced as he is that being self-serving is the only way to survive in relationships

• willing to be martyred in love (because they have a low opinion of men and/or a low opinion of themselves)

Whereas women who basically have their act together, and who have qualities of niceness themselves, may tolerate bad treatment for a while - but not forever. They don't get a charge out of being mistreated or neglected by a man they love. And that's why, with a man who's all naughty and very little nice, they usually try to CHANGE him so that he'll be nicer to them.

As many of us know, that approach doesn't work out so well. 

Better to pick a man in the first place who's an optimal blend of naughty and nice, right?

Now, when I use the word, "nice," I don't just mean that he's capable of making minor charming choices, like showing up with flowers after a fight.

I mean being "Nice" - with a capital "N" - like a decent human being with a heart would be.

And when I say "naughty," well, that covers a lot of wonderfully wicked, fun ways of being that a man can have. But it doesn't include any behavior that is disrespectful, calloused, or hurtful.

The answer is yes and no. It's a paradox, isn't it? True beauty begins from the inside out. Don't you wish there was some way to "wriggle your nose" and regain that soft skin you had as a child? Well, until someone comes up with the true "Fountain of Youth" we are stuck with what we have.
The best route to healthy skin is to take care of what you have. Sounds simple, doesn't it? The truth is that your skin takes a beating from the environment every single day.
Here are some of our favorite tips for keeping your skin fresh and healthy:
1. Stay hydrated and do it with plenty of water! That doesn't mean soda, caffeine or any other type of liquid even if it is low cal. Soda (even diet soda) has a high concentration of sodium. Sodium retains fluids. You need fluid that will hydrate and flush your body free of toxins. Make sure you are drinking at least 8 glasses a day!
2. Protect your skin from harmful ultra violet (UV) rays. We all love the sun. We love being in it and we love having a beautiful tan. The truth is you can poison yourself with too much sunshine. UV rays cause skin cancer and if that isn't bad enough it causes your skin to age faster than it should contributing to unsightly wrinkles. If you must play in the sun, make certain you are using an adequate sun screen. Don't leave home without it!
3. Apply your sun screen even if you only make a quick trip to the grocery store. Yes, you can get harmful UV rays even while driving your car!
4. When you purchase sun screen make certain you are buying the right tool for the job. There are different types of UV rays and they don't all affect our skin in the same ways. The time of year also has a bearing on how much damage the sun can do to your skin. Altitude is another important factor. UV rays are more intense at high altitudes. Sunshine alone is not the culprit. You can do just as much damage to your skin (or in some cases even more) on a cloudy day!
5. Don't forget sun screen for your lips. They want to be healthy too!
6. Apply your sunscreen BEFORE going outdoors and allow plenty of time for it to adequately absorb into your skin cells rather than just sitting on top of the skin.
7. Read the labels on skin care products. The truth is that some ingredients may do more harm than good. The more ingredients that are listed, the more potential harm they can do to your skin. Here is a list of some of the common ingredients found in skin care products that have the potential to irritate your skin: Ammonia Balsam Bergamot Citrus juices and oils Coriander Eugenol Fir needle Horsetail Lemongrass Marjoram Mint Papaya Sandalwood oil TEA-lauryl sulfate Arnica Bentonite Camphor Clove Cornstarch Fennel Geranium Lavender Lime Melissa (lemon balm) Oak bark Peppermint Sodium C14-16 olefin sulfate Thyme Balm mint Benzalkonium chloride Cinnamon Clover blossom Eucalyptus Fennel oil Grapefruit Lemon Linalool Menthol Orange Phenol Sodium lauryl sulfate Wintergreen Witch hazel Ylang-ylang
8. There are a few ingredients that are totally banned by the Food and Drug Administration and should be avoided: Bithionol, Mercury compounds, Vinyl chloride, Halogenated salicylanilides, Zirconium complexes in aerosol cosmetics, Chloroform Methylene chloride, Chlorofluorocarbon propellants, Hexachlorophene Methyl methacrylate monomer in nail products