The whole afternoon, I sat in the study room, leaning on the chair with arms closed, facing to a mass of textbooks and review materials with eyes fixed on nothing, sometimes it's absolutely vacant in my mind, I doubt if I have fall asleep for that moment, while sometimes it's full of all kinds of things wandering around that I can't tide them up , what I am doing? what do I want to do? though I felt confused, puzzled and even lost, I tried to search the answer myself.

I remembered a girl, who I fell love with those days of the last year, we had a good time together, which I cherish and miss in my whole life, how is she now? Have she taken and past the national examination for administers of governments? I promised to her that I will take the toefl exam in this term, and I have been preparing for a long time, particularly in the vocabulary and listening skill. Once she asked me what would I do if I don't pass the two exams, I replied with a simple sentence to convince her while it's not so much as to convince myself, that is: I have to pass and I must pass. They mean a lot to me, because it's the base for us to shape the future, the future of ours two.

Time flies and things change. Now I come to be alone again, still I am preparing for the two exams, I borrowed some books from the library, and it is not until this day that I buy a new book that I know that the books I borrowed from the library are so old or out of date that they are anything but useless, I don't want to use rubbish to describe them, because they maybe useful for some others who want to improve their English, but for me, so it is.

I feel confused, and even a little scared, my situation is just like I am lost in a forest with simply myself, I have no idea about which way to go or which direction to take, I don't know where they lead and I simply don't know where I want to go. Even a single step would make me irresolute. I can't persuade myself to relax and behave as planned beforehand.

Things I have done in the past two months can be described as abundance, I learned a CFD software called Fluent, though I can't say I am proficiency in it, I can use it to calculate engineering examples in practical life. I made a lot of new friends, including a beautiful girl who is always as busy as happy; what's more, she is discreet and even enthusiastic in learning language. Well, there is a popular saying that men all like beautiful girls, I agree to it to a extent, but not completely, appearance do show attractions when we meet for the first time, while character and virtue demonstrate its charms and become the determinate element when we get along with each other and come to know better of each other.

In the end, I want to share some tips about friendship and affection. That is don't turn friendship into loveness optionally, there are more things you can share spontaneously with a close friend , while loveness brings in more careful consideration or misgiving, and if not well dealen with, it can make isolation to a deep extent, which can be a dangerous symbol for your loveness. If there is a person you like, I mean you like talking playing or sharing something with, you would better keep admiring him or her from a certain distance, the most important point is that she or he is happy and she or he would share happiness and sorrows with you, isn't it?

If you came across a stranger and you both fell love with each other, and get married with the other in the end, it can be only explained by one word, that's fatal!